i m back , tryin once sgain to put my thoughts into words, a complex process beginnig in my brain ........

these days i've been mostly thinking bout the relegion & its grip on me
i m not able to absorb a single valid point out of all the prachings that r being thrown at me
i mean if there is s true relegion how m i suppose to know it???? as in christians the church is using its own version differen t from gospels...,the muslims are tryin to fight the whole world to convert everyone into their own relegion , the monks dont gave a damn about nyone they r too busy& pleased with themselves, hindus r scared of the western influences , rest other relegions are also in quite a screw......

as of now if a person wants to begin his life fro a new day m starting all over again what would be the rigth path for him , i mean the quetion about the presence of god is sumthin we've not even discussed , but still there r so many controversies...
if there were a god then why would he decide to send so many sons ,messengers, incarnations to a tiny planet where centuries later blood will be spilled over the question that whose relegion is better......

nyways at the beginning ogf this post i was plannin to write about the types of behaviour ppl do when they r high & out of control but tit seems that more importany matters were in my head to discuss first....:)

what do you want from me??????
this is what i have been asking myself for the last few months .....
what should a person aim for in his life in case he doesnt dreams of flying aircrafts, racing f1 cars,
becoming a ceo, a business tycoon, or sumthin to look upto, what should we call such a person ??? a one with lack of dreamz,(nnah i just have too much of em), lack of talent( n believe me i have just too much of it too :))
or may be it's just the way we are being to made to look up at the world, never believing that it will look the way we want it to be...
getting back to the point
till now i have swept in the the current alongside my peers , never realised where i am going???
some vague ideas do come about money,fame .power, & i mday dreaming about these things for a few days afterwords , but for the most of the time i roam aimlessly
my condition becomes more confusingas being an agnostic ( sumtimes atheist) i cant put the blame for my aimless roaming or what one may call fate on sum higher divine power, ,which brings the load of making the right choice back on my shoulders
will i make THE right decision or wont i
but then in the randomness and chaos that we live in, it wont matter n anything i do is bound to be good.... isnt that the thing we are supposed to believe in the old fella upatairs.. ;)
the bottomline being i'm still confused n going on strongly